Doctor of Philosophy

I successfully passed my PhD defense yesterday! And best of all, my committee passed me with no revisions, so I'm done as soon as I submit my paperwork on Monday! The defense itself went very smoothly, about as well as I could have hoped for. I was a little nervous before the actual presentation, but I felt prepared, and once I got going, the nerves dissipated. I was able to start strong and finish strong. During the closed session, my committee mostly asked clarification questions about my research, which I was able to answer easily. After my defense, one of my committee members (a more junior faculty member) told me that he thought it was one of the best defense presentations he had ever attended, which made me feel proud. Overall, I'm very happy with the end result, and I'm glad I can finally close this chapter of my life.

Right now, everything still feels pretty surreal. The best way I can describe it is by comparing it to that feeling you got when you lost a baby tooth as a kid. Your tongue keeps returning to feel the gap over and over again, because it's so strange and unfamiliar. I think it'll take a while for the reality to sink in. Yesterday after my defense, J and I got dinner with a couple friends who attended my presentation to support me. Then he and I went to our favorite cocktail bar to enjoy a celebratory drink. Today we're throwing a post-defense/holiday party, so hopefully things will feel more real after that.

For the rest of this month and also next month, my plan is to be a total bum! I'm going to sleep in every day, do all of the fun stuff that I've wanted to do but didn't have time for before, watch way too much TV, read all the books on my reading list, catch up on the maintenance/chores that I've let slide for the last couple months, and clean up our place. Also, I want to lose my extra dissertation weight and get back in shape (in time for J's family ski trip in early January). There's a bunch of other stuff I need to do before I start my new job in February, but I'll worry about that in a couple weeks.

Have a great weekend!

Exciting News

I have a couple big announcements. First of all, my PhD defense is this coming Friday! If all goes well, I will be done with grad school forever (minus paperwork and hopefully minor revisions). This has been a long time coming, and I'm really excited. So far I'm not too nervous yet. My dissertation is done, my slides are done, and I already held a practice defense. For the rest of the week, I'm planning to polish my talk some more, make paper copies of everything for my committee, and figure out what I'm going to do for refreshments. We'll see if the nerves hit later.

In other news, I accepted a job offer! The whole thing came together really quickly, much faster than I had anticipated. I did three rounds of interviews with this company in the span of about a month. It was grueling, but I'm pleased with the end result. The work sounds interesting, challenging, and flexible in scope. It's a bit of a stretch for my current skill set, but I think it'll ultimately be a good move for me career-wise. The compensation is fair (maybe even more than fair), and the benefits are good. The only downside is that first I have to relocate to a small East Coast city for 6 months of training. Then I'm moving to the Seattle area! (I'm already dreaming about all the hiking, rock climbing, and skiing I'll be doing in the Pacific Northwest...)

Last but certainly not least, J is going to move with me after all! When we had talked about it before, he thought it wasn't a good time in his career to make a move just yet. However, after we came back from our trip to Europe, he said that he had given it a lot of thought, and he felt that it was only going to become harder to move later on. We still need to work out the exact details and timing, but I feel really good that he agreed to come with me. Right now our tentative plan is to do long-distance for 6 months and then move together. I think long-distance will definitely be challenging, but at least we have a target end date.

You know, I'm amazed how everything came together in the end. Just a month ago, I was stressing out about well, everything. Now it's all pretty much settled. I feel like there's a lesson in here somewhere. I should learn to trust that things will work out, because they usually do. Now I'm looking forward to starting a new chapter of my life.

Happy Thanksgiving (and Thanksgiving Sales)

Happy Thanksgiving, America! I am back from my European vacation just in time for the holidays. Perfect planning, I know. My trip to Amsterdam and Bruges was amazing! Unfortunately, I got sick while I was there, and I am still recovering. Since we don't have any special plans for Turkey Day, I'm going to just veg out for the rest of the week. When I feel better, I'll put together a post about what we saw/did/ate!

Obviously, Thanksgiving is synonymous with eating too much food and shopping Black Friday sales, but it's also a reminder to count our blessings. I want to take a moment to talk about what I feel grateful for this year. These are things I normally take for granted, but not everyone is as fortunate, so I should appreciate what I have. First of all, I am grateful that I am in generally good health, as are J and my parents. One benefit of being sick is that it always reminds me of how important good health actually is. With all of the wildfires that have happened, I feel grateful that I have a roof over my head this Thanksgiving. Not everyone is as lucky. I appreciate that I have had the opportunity to pursue a PhD, which is a luxury not everyone can afford. Also, I feel enormously grateful for the progress I have made with my mental health. I honestly can't imagine taking the trip we just came back from a few years ago at the peak of my anxiety. Last but certainly not least, I am grateful for J, my friends, and my family.

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On a lighter note, here are the Thanksgiving sales I am most excited about. I confess that I already ordered a bunch of stuff. Probably too much actually, but most likely not everything will work out. (By the way, if I find any other exciting deals, I'll come back and update this page, so check back.)

BACKCOUNTRY // Up to 40% off select styles (plus 10% cash back through eBates). Backcountry is one of my favorite stores for outdoor clothing and gear. I am currently eyeing a new pair of climbing shoes for myself, although I may wait to see if Santa brings me some for Christmas. My pick is this hooded Patagonia down jacket, which rarely goes on sale past 30% off. If you didn't already know, I kind of have a love affair with Patagonia. I'm a big fan of their products and their company mission. I own the non-hooded version of this jacket and wear it all the time. In fact, it was the only coat I brought with me to Europe, because it's warm, lightweight, and packable.

BANANA REPUBLIC // 50% off with no exclusions through 11/24/2018 (plus 8% cash back through eBates). I own this merino boyfriend cardigan in burgundy, which I really like. I just ordered this strappy ivory cami, which I hope works out. I also like this washable silk cami and this longer open cardigan.

GAP // 50% off with code BLKFRIDAY and an additional 10% off with code TREAT through 11/22/2018 (plus 10% cash back through eBates). I love buying sweaters and PJs from Gap. This year they have some really great offerings in my opinion. I own last year's version of this 100% cotton cable-knit sweater. I also like this turtleneck tunic sweater and this popcorn sweater. I ordered these flannel shorts and these soft joggers.

J.CREW // 40-50% off your purchase with code GOLDENDEAL through 11/22/2018 (plus 6% cash back through eBates) 50% off your purchase with code TGIF through 11/24/2018 (plus 10% cash back through eBates). I bought this faux-fur pom-pom hat right before my trip and ended up wearing it every single day. It's not the warmest, but it makes me feel cute and fits my head really well. I ordered this Christmas plaid scarf. On Black Friday morning, I also ordered this camel sweater-blazer, this fair isle sweater, these black jeans, this lace tank top, this ivory cami, and this striped tee. My other picks include my favorite coat (I own a previous year's version) and this longer camel cardigan.

MADEWELL // 25% off your purchase with code DEALWITHIT through 11/25/2018 (plus 5% cash back through eBates). Now is a great time to get their jeans or bags on sale. I bought the zip-top mini transport crossbody a while back, and I really like it. It was the only bag I brought on my Europe trip, because it's pretty lightweight and surprisingly spacious. I've been on a cognac leather kick recently, so I ordered this belt to match my bag.

NORDSTROM // New markdowns now through 11/26/2018. If it's more convenient for you, you can buy Madewell items through Nordstrom. They will price match as long as the same color/size is in stock. I love Nordstrom's return policy, so I buy through them whenever possible. I ordered this pearl-embellished tee, these glitter loafers (what can I say, I'm attracted to shiny things), and this faux shearling coat. I actually saw a ton of chic women in Europe wearing similar coats, and it makes me want one too.

NORDSTROM RACK // Extra 30% off clearance items and free shipping sitewide through 11/26/2018. I've been shopping at Nordstrom Rack a lot, because I frequently find really awesome deals. I prefer shopping in store for the best selection, but I realize your mileage may vary depending on your local store's selection. My favorite things to buy here are jeans, bags, shoes, and bras.

SOKO GLAM // 30% off sitewide with code SGBF18 (plus 6% cash back through eBates). Now is a great time to restock your favorite Asian skincare products or to try out a new one. I own and recommend the CosRX low-pH good morning cleanser, the Missha time revolution first treatment essence, and the CosRX oil-free ultra moisturizing lotion. I am thinking about ordering ordered the CosRX advanced snail 96 mucin power essence, the Etude House moistfull collagen emulsion, the Acwell licorice pH balancing cleansing toner, and the Dr. G brightening peeling gel set. If you decide to order, I'd really appreciate if you would use my referral link!


What do you feel grateful for this Thanksgiving? And what sales are you shopping?

Life Lately

It's been a while since I posted about general life stuff! I find that I need to be in a certain mood to write this kind of post, and lately I've just been too busy/distracted to really sit down and collect my thoughts. The biggest thing going on in my life right now is wrapping up the PhD. This past month I have been working on a research paper that is based on part of my dissertation work, which I am submitting soon to the top conference in my field. The decision doesn't come out until next March, but I hope it gets accepted! Now that I'm done with the paper, I can finally start working again on the last section of my dissertation. I would love to wrap that up soon, so I can submit a draft to my committee before everyone leaves for the holidays.

Also, I started casually looking for jobs again, and by casually, I mean, I'll-apply-if-I-happen-to-come-across-an-interesting-job-and-if-it's-in-a-city-I-want-to-move-to,-but-I'm-not-really-looking-that-hard-right-now. I initially started the process last fall, but I decided to put it on hold, because it was taking up too much time and preventing me from actually finishing the PhD. I got 3 offers at the time, but I felt like I could do better and turned them all down. Hopefully, I don't come to regret that decision, haha. Then again, I'm not sure I want to start working right away anyway. Since I still have some savings from before, I wouldn't mind taking time off after graduation to be a bum, travel, and detox from the whole PhD experience.

You never know how things will go though. So I applied for a position about a month ago, and things are moving faster than I expected. I already did two interviews with the company, and they want to fly me out for a third in-person interview. I would still like to explore my other options, so I've been trying to put the brakes on. We'll see how that goes. Also, my job search is complicated by my relationship with J. Right now he and I live together in the same city. However, there just aren't a lot of good opportunities for me here, and I don't want to stay in the area long term. Ultimately I want to move to the West Coast, ideally California or Washington. We've discussed the possibility of moving there together, which he is open to, but I understand that it's not a good time in his career right now to make a move. So there's a lot of uncertainty. I worry about what's going to happen to us in the future if/when I move, and the whole situation is stressing me out. I want to trust that things will ultimately work out, but I really struggle with it since I have generalized anxiety. Anyway, thanks for listening (reading?), and sorry if all this is kind of a downer.

On a lighter note, I am going to the Netherlands and Belgium next week! J has to go to Amsterdam for work, and we decided to turn the trip into an extended vacation. Honestly, I could use the break, and I'm looking forward to checking out the museums, the canals, and the local architecture in and around Amsterdam. I'm also looking forward to eating some Indonesian food (Indonesia was a Dutch colony) and going to Belgium for Belgian chocolates, waffles, and beer! (Yes, I travel to eat.) I expect we'll be doing lots of walking in chilly weather, so I'm prepared to bring warm clothes and comfortable walking shoes. Still need to plan our exact itinerary and what to pack!

How do you deal with the stress of uncertainty when you're faced with circumstances that are beyond your control? And do you have any recommendations for what to see/do/eat in the Netherlands or Belgium?

Crazy Rich Asians: The Movie

I love Kevin Kwan's bestselling novel Crazy Rich Asians, so I was super excited when I heard it was getting made into a movie. I was even more excited when I was lucky enough to score a ticket to an advance screening in my city. You guys, it does not disappoint! If anything, I would say that the movie is even better than the book, which very rarely happens.

If you're not familiar with the story, here is a brief plot summary (no spoilers). Rachel Chu, a Chinese-American economics professor from NYU, finds out that her Chinese-Singaporean boyfriend Nick Young is not just a humble history professor. He is actually the Nicholas Young, heir to a massive fortune and the most eligible bachelor in all of Asia. They take a trip together to Singapore to visit his family and to attend the hottest event of the year: the wedding of Nick's best friend Colin Khoo and fashion icon Araminta Lee, both from extremely wealthy families. Right away, Rachel is made to feel like an outcast by the Singaporean elite, because she was raised by a single mother and is more American than Chinese. Also, unlike everyone else from Nick's world, she wasn't born with a silver spoon in her mouth. In particular, Nick's mother Eleanor Young disapproves of Rachel and warns her to stay away from her son. Hijinks ensue as Rachel tries to navigate her way through Nick's world.

Like the book, the movie is super fun. There are lavish parties, exquisite couture costumes, dazzling jewelry, and amazing scenery. The characters are so wacky and over-the-top, like Rachel's best friend Peik Lin (tasteless new money), Nick's cousin Eddie Cheng (obsessed with having the perfect image), and trashy gold-digging soap opera star Kitty Pong. The casting choice really brought the characters to life in my opinion. I like Constance Wu (Fresh off the Boat) as Rachel. She was fresh, plucky, and sassy. I also love Michelle Yeoh (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Tomorrow Never Dies) as Eleanor Young. She was so proud and elegant, a true tiger mom. I feel like she really nailed the nuances of the character. But my favorite ended up being Awkwafina (Ocean's Eight) as Peik Lin. I didn't particularly like the character in the book, but Awkwafina stole every scene she was in. She had perfect comedic timing, and it was hilarious to watch her deliver her killer one-liners.

I really enjoyed the movie, and I highly recommend that everyone go see it. I'm already planning to go again with my boyfriend when it comes out in theaters. The movie was very funny and even touching at times. Even though the story is set in Asia and revolves around Asians, its themes are universal: dealing with your significant other's family, feeling like you don't belong, complicated family dynamics, etc. Also, this is the first time in a long time that Hollywood has made a movie with an all-Asian cast. In general, directors are reluctant to cast minority actors in lead roles, because they believe that people of color don't have mass appeal at the box office. We as moviegoers need to show up and send the message that we want to see more diverse casting in American media. But hey, even if you're not political, it's just a great movie!

If you want to learn more about Crazy Rich Asians, check out this article from the Hollywood Reporter. And go watch it when it comes out on August 15!

Have you read Crazy Rich Asians? Are you planning to go see the movie?

Millennial Spending

I recently came across this interesting article on how much money millennials spend every year compared to other generations. I'm not sure how accurate these numbers are, but they supposedly come from the Bureau of Labor Statistics' Consumer Expenditure Survey. Unsurprisingly (based on my personal experience), millennials spend a lot of money dining out, although apparently they are not the group that spends the most money on food. I was also not surprised to see that millennials spend less money on shelter and utilities than other generations, since they may live with family members who cover these expenses. However, I was surprised that people from my generation spend relatively little money on alcohol outside the home (I guess I expected people to spend more money at bars and clubs). Also, I was surprised that the average millennial spends as much money on clothes as they do. Maybe I shouldn't be, since I obviously like to buy clothes, but I thought I was an outlier. Finally, millennials spend a decent amount of money on entertainment every year, although I don't think internet should be included in this category, because it's definitely a necessity in this day and age.

All of this got me thinking about how my own spending compares, so I thought I would do a rough break-down using the categories from the article.

Food
I love good food, and I consider myself a foodie, so it's definitely one of my biggest monthly expenditures. I love checking out new restaurants, and a lot of my social life revolves around food in some way, shape, or form. I really like communing with friends over meals, because the experience just brings people together. I usually eat dinner at home on the weekdays but frequently go out for lunch and on the weekends. Also, when I shop for groceries, I like to buy quality produce and try out new exotic ingredients. I estimate that I spend about $500-$600 per month on food.
Verdict: on par with most millennials, maybe slightly more

Alcohol
In general, I'm not a huge drinker. At home I will occasionally have a glass of wine with dinner, or if my boyfriend offers to make me a cocktail (he's actually pretty good at mixing drinks!). I very rarely drink beer. In fact, I don't even like it, so I'll only order one when friends drag me to a bar or brewery. However, I do like fancy cocktails, especially the complicated ones that you can't make at home. They're expensive though, so I only have them on special occasions. I estimate that I spend less than $20 per month on alcohol.
Verdict: less than most millennials

Shelter
I'm currently in an unusual situation. Right now I live with my boyfriend, who owns a small studio condo unit. It's not the place I would have chosen to live if we had picked it out together (it's simply too small for two people), but due to the circumstances, we will be living here at least until I graduate. We agreed that it would strain our relationship for him to act as my landlord, especially given that the place is really meant to house only one person, so we just split his monthly HOA and any household expenses.
Verdict: temporarily less than most millennials

Utilities
Since our place is so small, the electric bill comes out to less than $100 per month. The condo HOA includes internet and water. Also, I am currently still on my parents' cellphone plan, which they have generously agreed to pay until I graduate.
Verdict: temporarily less than most millennials

Clothing
Obviously I have blogged about this subject extensively over the years. This year I set myself a clothing budget of $150/month calculated on an annual basis. In 2015 (the last time that I did a comprehensive clothing budget review), I spent about $195/month.
Verdict: more than most millennials

Transportation
I live in an area with poor public transit, so you really need a car to get around. I used to share one with my ex-fiance, but after our separation, I had to get my own. After searching for a while, I found a 5-year-old European car that I really liked. Originally I was just planning to use the money I had saved up from before, but then my parents generously offered to buy it for me as a combined present (normally I never get presents from them for my birthday or Christmas, so they said it was back pay for the last 20+ years). My insurance costs about $100 per month. Sadly, my car requires premium gas and isn't the most fuel efficient, so I spend about $70 per month on that. Also I pay for an on-campus parking permit, which comes out to another $60 a month. I never use rideshare apps. So far I haven't spent too much money on car repair, but I expect that it will eventually cost a pretty penny since repairs for European cars tend to be more expensive. I still love my car though!
Verdict: on par with most millennials

Entertainment
I don't like to watch too much TV (because I already spend enough time being sedentary at school), so I don't have cable or Netflix. Also I don't usually watch movies in theaters for that same reason. However, I will sometimes catch free movies or documentaries on Amazon Prime Video since I already have Amazon Prime. I don't follow any of the major organized sports, although I do watch a few obscure ones (climbing, figure skating, and swimming for example). Even though I read a lot, I usually check out free e-books from my local library (and now via my 3-month Kindle Unlimited membership). I do spend quite a bit of money on my hobbies, but I feel okay about that since they're improving my mental and physical health.
Verdict: more than most millennials


What did you think of the article? How does your spending compare? Which categories do you spend more and less on?

Blog Changes

If you visited my blog in the last couple days, you may have notice some changes around here. They are all things that I've been wanting to do for a long time now. I first started making changes back in April but really ramped up recently. At some point, I would like to actually redesign the entire website (and brush up on my rusty HTML/CSS skills!), but that will most likely have to wait until after I finish my PhD dissertation. In the meantime, I want to highlight what's new and different around here, especially for those of you who follow via an RSS reader or Bloglovin and don't necessarily visit the site directly very often.

The biggest change is my name. I don't mean the blog name, although I am thinking about rebranding at some point since the range of topics I write about has expanded. I mean my actual name. I have been going by Engineer L for a long time, and I feel like I'm finally ready for a change. I have gotten more comfortable with showing a bit more of my face around here, and I'd like you to use a more personal name for me. So hi, I'm Lea. Nice to meet you (again).

I updated my name here on the blog as well as on my social media platforms. I also standardized my Pinterest and Bloglovin usernames. Now everything is @dresslikeanengineer. (Previously Pinterest was @dressengineer, and Bloglovin was @engineerl.) Please update your bookmarks accordingly. The updated links are also in the sidebar under my profile picture.

The second change is the new navigation menu on top. I realize I have been writing about four different topics lately (style, personal finance, monthly budget, and healthy living), and it would be nice for readers who are only interested in just one or two of those to be able to filter my posts. Now you have the ability to do that.

The third change is the new Labels word cloud in the sidebar. If you want to find all of my posts on a very specific topic (for example, J.Crew reviews), you can use that to filter beyond just the four broad categories I mentioned above.

I also updated the About and Blogroll sections. About introduces who I am and why I blog. And I added some of my new favorite blogs to the blogroll!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy these changes. Please let me know in the comments or via email if you find something that isn't working as it should. As always, thanks!

Gratitude

Lately I have been feeling very grateful for the things in my life that I don't appreciate often enough. As a type A person, I am always striving to be the best me that I can be. Sometimes that's a good thing. It's important to me to be constantly improving, so I have a long list of things that I'm always working on in different areas of my life, including education, career, fitness, mental health, strengthening my relationship, friendships, my personal style, etc. However, by being so goal-oriented, I think I sometimes forget to appreciate who I am, where I am, and what I have right now.

For example, I am incredibly grateful that I have been blessed with overall good health. Obviously, I have a few minor conditions just like everyone else, but nothing so serious that it impacts me on a daily basis. In fact, I can only remember a few times in my life when I have been sick for an extended period of time. Once was when I injured (and re-injured) my upper back for several months. The first few weeks afterwards were miserable, because I could neither sit up nor lie down without agonizing pain. Also I had to go to physical therapy a couple times a week, and I kept re-injuring the same spot just doing daily activities, so the recovery time was very slow. That was an awful experience. Another time was when I had bronchitis for over two months. I would cough myself awake 5-10 times a night. I couldn't do any of the things I like to do normally, and I was too sick to see any friends. No fun at all. During both of those times, I slipped into temporary depression, so I can only imagine how people who have serious health conditions cope.

Recently I was hanging out with some friends when the conversation turned to personal health. One friend is currently struggling with an undiagnosed health issue. She and her husband are very frustrated with the situation, because she is in pain all the time and has zero energy, yet none of her doctors seem to have any idea why. As they continue to search for an answer, the condition has started to severely limit her life and even impact her normally cheerful disposition. Another friend revealed that she has moderate to severe scoliosis (curved spine), so she suffers from chronic back pain. There are some activities she just cannot do, because she knows it would aggravate her back. The only cure is surgery, but there are also significant risks that she's unwilling to take. I feel so much empathy for both of them, and I hope that things will get better. At the same time, it makes me realize I have been taking my own good health for granted, and it's important to appreciate it now while I still have it.

Some other things I feel grateful for: my boyfriend, friends, and family; having enough money to pursue a PhD while living a comfortable lifestyle; living in a first-world country that is (relatively) stable; how much progress I have made towards better mental health; being lucky enough to not have student loans or personal debt; having hobbies I enjoy and the money/health/time to pursue them. I am also grateful that I have this space to write down my thoughts, and I am grateful for all of you who take the time out of your day to read my posts and comment on them. There are more things of course, but these are the biggest ones I can think of at the moment. The next time I feel sad or angry or disappointed or frustrated, I would like to take a moment to think about what I already have and feel grateful.

What are you grateful for? Have you taken a moment to express your gratitude lately?

Thoughts on Budgeting, Happiness, Body Image, and Smoothies

Here are some things I've been thinking about lately that are too short to warrant their own blog posts:

// Personal budget

Even though I've been writing monthly budget posts, I haven't actually set a budget for the year. I think I am going to target spending $150 per month on clothes, calculated on an annual basis. So far I have spent $158.99 in April, $133.47 in May, and $161.36 in June, leaving me with $896.18 for the rest of the year (an average of $149.36 per month). Also I am budgeting $117 per month for my active hobbies ($42 for my gym membership + $75 for everything else per month). I spent $42.00 in April, $275.80 in May, and $265.55 in June, which leaves me with $469.65 for the year (an average of $78.28 per month). Looks like I probably won't be buying skis this year.

// Happiness
Last week I got lunch with a friend who I only see occasionally, and we were catching up. He graduated last year with his PhD and now has a big shot corporate job with good hours that pays generously. By all accounts, he's very successful and should be happy, yet he's been feeling apathetic about life and wishes he still felt the same sense of purpose that he did during PhD. Our conversation got me thinking about what exactly makes someone happy. From my own experience as well as what I've observed, happiness is having good health, feeling loved/accepted/supported by your friends/family/significant other, having enough money to be comfortable, having a sense of purpose in your life whether it be work or something else, and taking pleasures in the little things. What do you think happiness is?

// Weight gain and body image
In the past 3-6 months, I have gained about 5 lbs. You know the Freshman 15? This is the PhD Dissertation 5... While it's possible that some of the weight gain is muscle mass from climbing and running, I think most of it is just fat. I've been working longer hours, so I'm not cooking at home as much or working out as often. Also I use food as a pick-me-up/reward for working hard. As a result, I've been eating all of the things. I'm not super concerned about my diet at the moment since I know this arrangement is semi-temporary (on the order of months), and I can lose the weight the moment I get back to my normal routine. However, it is having a negative impact on my body image. For example, I find myself avoiding tighter clothes, because I don't like how they emphasize my stomach. I also find myself grabbing my belly flab in disgust a couple times a day, which I recognize is super toxic. I'd like to adjust my mental attitude and stop being so hard on myself until I find the bandwidth to actually lose the extra weight. Just not sure how yet. Also note that this weight gain may slightly impact my fit reviews in the near future (mostly for pants/bottoms).

Why I've gained weight (clockwise): buns from my favorite Chinese bakery, best BBQ I've had in my life, homemade Taiwanese beef noodle soup, homemade French toast, pad see ew, ice cream

// What I'm loving lately

1. Smoothies. I started making smoothies for breakfast. They're super quick to make in the morning (less than 5 minutes), I can drink them on the way to/at school, they're delicious, and they keep me full for a surprisingly long time (4+ hours since they're full of fiber versus 2 for cereal). My favorite smoothie recipes at the moment are banana berry (almond milk + banana + frozen strawberries + frozen wild blueberries + spinach) and dark chocolate cherry (almond milk + banana + frozen cherries + cocoa powder). I like sneaking spinach into smoothies, because hey, extra serving of veggies. You can't really taste it, and if you use blueberries, it disguises the color too. Dark chocolate cherry is great if you're craving chocolate but don't want the guilt, since cocoa powder is only 10 calories per tablespoon!

2. Yeti 20 oz Rambler. I bought this recently to put my smoothies in, and now I understand why people love Yeti. It really is a well-designed tumbler. Very sturdy and keeps your drinks hot/cold for hours. I have the magnetic-lock lid, which is spill-resistant albeit not spill-proof (it still leaks if you turn it upside down). Also, this fits perfectly in my European car's tiny cupholders (usually things either rattle around or you just can't put it in at all). Very happy with my purchase.

What are you loving lately? How do you cope with weight gain? What are your favorite smoothie recipes?

Serious Talk: My Struggles with Mental Health

I was shocked and saddened on Tuesday to hear that Kate Spade had apparently taken her own life at age 55. Her name was synonymous with fun yet accessible luxury. Like so many other women of my generation, my very first designer handbag was from her brand. I still remember how much I loved and treasured that red satchel I had found in the clearance section for $80. It's unfortunate that the life of such a warm and creative woman ended this way. Perhaps if our society was more open to discussing mental health issues and providing support for people who need help, this tragedy could have been prevented.

In light of this event, today I want to talk about a serious topic that is very important to me: mental health, specifically my own struggles with it. I debated whether I should share this information on the blog, because after all, it is an extremely personal subject. I ultimately decided in favor of it, because I want to help dispel some of the stigma surrounding discussions of mental health by sharing my own experience, and if doing so helps even one person reading this post, it would be worthwhile.

I have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). In this post as well as older posts, I alluded to it in passing, but I feel like I've always danced around the subject, intentionally minimizing the impact it's had on my life. What is generalized anxiety disorder, you ask? Everyone feels anxious sometimes. Maybe you're worried about not having enough money to pay an unexpected bill, or you have a performance review coming up, or you're waiting on some test results from the doctor, or you're nervous before a big exam or presentation. These are examples of normal everyday anxiety, which are mostly rational and transient in nature. Generalized anxiety disorder is when you experience irrational anxiety that is persistent and overwhelming to the point where it interferes with your daily life. It means constantly worrying about things that shouldn't matter, irrationally avoiding activities or situations, and having out-of-the-blue panic attacks. Almost 20% of Americans suffer from it, and yet I rarely hear anyone discuss it.

I mentioned in this post that nowadays I lead a pretty active and adventurous life. That may not seem like a big deal, but for me, it was impossible to even imagine a few years ago. Circa 2010, I developed crippling anxiety while I was working. At the time I wasn't in a great place mentally. I was socially isolated, I didn't like my job, I was in a stressful long-distance relationship, and I had gained 10 pounds from living a sedentary lifestyle. All I ever did was work, eat, sleep, repeat. It was during this period that I had my first panic attack, which I didn't recognize as a panic attack at the time. (If you've never had one personally, let me just say that it is truly a terrifying experience. Some people have described it as feeling like they're going to die. Sometimes people even end up in the ER, because they think they're having a heart attack when it's actually a panic attack.)  It happened at work. I remember sitting at my desk and suddenly feeling very weak and dizzy. My heart was racing, I couldn't breathe, and I felt extremely nauseous. I was sure I would faint or throw up or both. I emailed my manager to say I wasn't feeling well, and I called my dad to come pick me up from the office. At the time, I thought maybe I had food poisoning and that it would pass. It didn't. This happened many more times, always striking seemingly out of the blue. I was terrified and became convinced I had a terrible mysterious illness. I frequented the doctor's office, hoping to find an answer. I went to a cardiologist, a neurologist, a pulmonologist, an ENT, and a gastroenterologist. I even had an MRI done of my brain. Everything came back normal, but I was still convinced there was something wrong with me. I obsessed endlessly about my health (hypochondria), because I felt like I needed to hunt down this "illness" and started to avoid social settings in case I "felt sick."

By 2014, the situation had turned desperate. At the time, I was already in grad school, which was super stressful. I still didn't recognize my "illness" as panic attacks. I was constantly drained and on edge. Because I was worried about "losing control" in front of other people when I "felt sick," I developed agoraphobia and started to avoid leaving the house. (Not coincidentally, I started blogging in 2014 as an escape.)  On the rare occasions we attended social gatherings, I had to be accompanied by my then-fiancé in order to not feel panicky, and there were still times I felt so anxious we had to leave early with a hasty excuse.  My anxiety was exacerbated by my shame, my need to keep up appearances and not let anyone know that I was struggling (an irrational but common fear for people with GAD). I felt trapped and hopeless.

Finally, after months of encouragement from my then-fiancé, I entered therapy. That decision completely transformed my life. For two years, I worked with my therapist as well as in group therapy on the problem. Finally, in 2016, I was able to make a major breakthrough. I am proud to say that I have not had a panic attack since then. What worked for me was a number of things. First, I told the important people in my life my big, dark secret. Most of my friends were supportive, which actually helped dispel my fear of people seeing me feel "sick." They were also surprised, because they had never suspected; I was that good at hiding it. Some of them even confided in me about their own mental health struggles, and I successfully encouraged three of them to seek therapy too. Unfortunately, my parents have been slow to come around, because mental health issues are really stigmatized in immigrant Asian communities. I'm still glad I told them. Also I learned some coping strategies to help ease me through a panic attack. Most importantly, I try to moderate my overall stress levels by working out, eating right, getting enough sleep, seeing friends, meditating, journaling, and of course going to therapy.

Where the earth meets the sky (view from an outdoor rock climbing trip)

Today I am in a much better place mentally, which has given me the strength and energy to pursue the life I want to live. I travel, rock climb, cycle, ski, hike, spend time regularly with friends, etc. If you had told me a few years ago that I would be where I am now, I wouldn't have believed you. That's not to say there isn't more room for improvement. There are still times when I am irrationally anxious, but I try to not let it limit who I am or what I do. I am extremely grateful for the progress that I have made in therapy, and I hope I can continue to do so in the future. I also hope to continue being a mental health advocate for other people in my life.

If you are suffering from anxiety and/or depression, I want you to know THERE IS HOPE. Anxiety and depression are both liars. They feed off your loneliness, hopelessness, and despair, so they try to trap you into believing that you're powerless to change your situation. You can't trust the thoughts they put in your head. Please seek professional help as soon as possible. I promise you things will get better.

If you know someone who is or who you think might be struggling with anxiety and/or depression, please reach out to them. Let them know that you care and they're not alone. If you can, nudge them to seek professional help. We all need to do our part in saving lives. 


Do you or someone you know struggle with anxiety or depression? How do you/they cope with it? Do you think there's still a lot of stigma surrounding mental health issues? If you don't feel comfortable leaving a public comment, please email me at dresslikeanengineer{at}gmail{dot}com.

How I Stopped Being a Couch Potato and Learned to Love Climbing

Today's sale picks: my favorite leggings for working out (or just lounging at home), this cute strappy sports bra (I like how it's not basic black), and this drapey muscle tank (I frequently wear airy tanks like this because they help me stay cool).

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I was a couch potato for years. I blame it on having grown up in the Midwest, where there isn't much outdoorsy stuff to do and where the weather is only nice for 6 months out of the year. Also my parents are couch potatoes, so I didn't exactly have good (physically active) role models to pattern myself after. Another problem was that I kept trying to force myself to do activities that I simply don't enjoy. I thought that was what you were supposed to do. Just keep trying until you learned to like it. For example, I hate running. For years I would periodically force myself to start running, do it for a couple weeks, and then go back to being a couch potato. Turns out it's hard to make yourself do something you don't want to do. No wonder I could never stick with it for long.

In April 2016, I accidentally discovered what is now my cardio of choice: cycling. J, one of my best friends at the time (now my boyfriend), was an avid cyclist and convinced me to go with him on his then-girlfriend's road bike. I almost said no (because I felt overly anxious) but ultimately decided to go, because I had always enjoyed biking as a kid. I was instantly hooked (on cycling, not him... yet). Cycling is even more fun than regular biking! You can go way faster with less effort! (Mountain biking is fun too but in a different and kinda scary way.) I became so obsessed that I started looking for a bike right away, and I bought a new-to-me carbon bike less than two months later. To this day, I never get tired of looking at it. I find it beautiful. Is it odd to be this enamored with a bike? Probably (haha), but I don't care. To me, it symbolizes freedom. No matter how stressed I am or how bad of a week I've had, I feel free the moment I go out for a ride, and my cares just melt away as I zip down the streets and trails.

My love and I (haha)

In September 2016, I discovered my current greatest passion: rock climbing. For years, my friends had been indoor climbing and invited me to join them. I always made up some excuse to avoid going, because honestly I was too afraid. For one, I had a terrible fear of heights, and also I was just super anxious about doing new activities that I had never done before. Even the idea of climbing made my stomach clench into knots. The one time I worked up the nerve to go in 2015 was so awful that I almost never went back (the "friend" I went with was a terrible teacher and didn't prepare me at all for my first climb). One day, almost on a whim, I decided to give it a second chance, this time with a much more sensitive and trustworthy climbing partner/teacher. In the back of my mind, I remembered how afraid I had been to go cycling that first time and how surprised I was to find that I loved it. (I didn't know it then, but I would later use the cycling example time and time again to push myself to try new things that were out of my comfort zone, because I felt like they would be good for my personal growth.)

I thought maybe the same could happen for climbing. And my wish came true. It has become one of the greatest joys of my life. It's a sanctuary for me, where I retreat to build myself up after the world knocks me down. What I love most about climbing is that you have to give it your all, sometimes more than your all, strength that you didn't even know you had. Also, when you're working on a route or a problem, the entire world shrinks to just that moment, that next move. It requires laser focus. And when you finally finish what you've been working on, there's a feeling of personal triumph that I've never found in any other activity.

It's really satisfying to overcome your limits, both mental and physical. When I first started climbing, I felt vertigo every time I looked down from the top of a route, so I decided to just stop looking down and only look up. Over time it ceased to bother me, and now I'm totally fine, even from the top of a 60 ft wall! So if you're interested in climbing but are afraid of heights, don't let that stop you! It definitely gets easier, and the fear will eventually go away. Also, climbing has noticeably changed the shape of my body. My biceps, triceps, shoulders, upper back, and core are all much stronger than they used to be, so it's a great workout. Best of all, it feels more like fun than exercise!

Another thing I love about climbing is the amazing community. Rock climbers are the friendliest, most helpful group of people you will ever meet! They are so encouraging, so willing to share tips, and just stop to chat. It probably helps that you see the same group of people around the gym or at the crag (outdoor climbing area) all the time. I met some of my current best friends through climbing, who I would literally trust with my life and who trust me with their lives. (I mean, you actually hold each other's lives in your hands when you climb together.) How's that for friendship?

My first outdoor climbing trip ever

So I'm completely obsessed with the sport. Right now I go to the climbing gym a couple times a week, usually for 2+ hours at a time. In the past, I've gone as often as 3-4 times a week, although now I find that to be too time-consuming, and it also makes me more susceptible to repetitive stress injuries. Since spring is here, I am planning to do some outdoor climbing trips too. In order to climb harder (i.e. complete harder routes), I've started focusing on better nutrition and working on my flexibility (via regular stretching and yoga). Anyway, I hope you will consider climbing the next time you want to try something new and fun, and that you enjoyed following my journey from couch potato to athletic woman! 

Are you or were you a couch potato? What do you do to work out? Have you ever tried climbing? If not, would you consider it?

My Overall Financial Situation

Recently I started reading Refinery29's Money Diaries. Maybe I'm just super nosy, but I love hearing about other people's financial situations. Despite having participated in Franish's Budgeting Blogger series (RIP) for years, I realized that I have never fully disclosed my own financial situation. So if you have ever wondered how I can afford to live the kind of life I do on a grad student budget, here it is.

I am Chinese-American and an only child. My immigrant parents moved to the U.S. almost 30 years ago, and they have always emphasized to me the importance of hard work and higher education for getting ahead in life. When it was time to send me off to college, they generously paid for all of my tuition as well as room and board, even though they were not well-off at the time. Of course, I took summer jobs every year and used that to supplement what my parents gave me, but mostly I relied on their support. I finished college in 3.5 years, and because of their generosity plus a few small merit-based scholarships, I graduated debt-free. Then I went to grad school straight from undergrad for a master's degree in engineering, because I knew that having the extra degree would significantly increase my starting salary. During that time, I found a research assistantship, which paid me a stipend as well as generated a tuition waiver.

When I graduated with my master's degree in 1.5 years, I felt burned out from school, so I accepted a full-time engineering job at a company I had interned with previously. It was relatively close to home (within a 30-minute drive), so I decided to live with my parents. (Side note: they were thrilled about this arrangement. In China, adult children typically live with their parents until marriage.) Most of the people I knew at the time couldn't understand my decision, because the only people they knew who lived at home were people who couldn't afford to move out, and I made a good salary.

During this period, I saved a great deal of money on rent, although I paid for my share of utilities and food. Of course there were pros and cons to moving back home. I love my parents, we get along well, and it was very convenient (I had a reasonable commute, and my mom cooked for me every single day). On the other hand, I became socially isolated, because I lived too far away from my friends to see them regularly, and it irritated me whenever my sometimes-helicopter parents tried to interfere in my personal life.

After working full-time for several years, I realized I was disillusioned with my job. I felt bored, not challenged, and dissatisfied. I contemplated switching companies, but it wouldn't have made a difference, since the jobs I was most qualified for were basically identical to the job I already had. I started thinking about going back to grad school and began to apply to PhD programs. Once again, people kept asking me "But why? You have a perfectly good job." I couldn't answer them to their satisfaction, but I knew that I didn't want to wake up someday and realize I had wasted my life/career working at a job I didn't like.

I ended up being accepted into one of the top PhD programs in my field, which came with a research assistantship offer as well as an additional scholarship. Those two combined were sufficient to cover my tuition, fees, and living expenses with a little left over for the first few years. (Now that I am in my final year, my situation is a little different. More on that another time.) I haven't been able to save any money really during my PhD, but on the other hand, I've never had to worry about money either, which I realize is a luxury. I have been extremely fortunate that I can live in a safe neighborhood, eat at restaurants I like, buy clothes from stores I like, indulge my hobbies, and travel when I want (within reason of course). I also have the additional comfort of knowing that I could always fall back on my savings from when I had worked full-time (I haven't touched this money at all during my time in grad school).

Overall I realize I am very lucky, especially for a millennial. Thanks to my parents, I don't have student loans. I also don't have credit card debt. My retirement savings aren't quite where I would like them to be (thanks, grad school opportunity cost), but I know once I graduate, I will save aggressively to compensate for those lost years. In the meantime, I am just trying to savor these last moments of flexibility and freedom.

Anyway, this post is longer than I intended, so kudos to those of you who made it to the end. I hope you've enjoyed reading about my financial situation!

Are you interested in seeing more personal finance posts from me?

Charming Charleston

My boyfriend J had to go to Charleston recently for work, so we decided to turn the trip into a mini-vacation by staying a few extra days. Neither of us had been to the city before, so we weren't sure what to expect, but Charleston is very charming! A lot of the architecture dates back to the 1700s, and the city is well preserved. We loved wandering around the Historic District and admiring all of the pretty houses.

Rainbow Row

Because Charleston is surrounded by water, it offers a diverse range of experiences. We were able to do both "city things" (e.g. wine and dine at amazing bars and restaurants, go shopping at the city market, etc.) and "nature-y things" (e.g. go to the beach, bird watch, etc.).

Pineapple Fountain

We lucked out and got an Airbnb that was centrally located and reasonably priced, so we were able to walk to most of the attractions and restaurants. And boy did we walk a lot! My feet were sore by the end of the trip, even though I wore comfortable sneakers every day. Something I noticed about Charleston is that it has a number of cute manicured parks with plenty of benches to sit on. One morning we got our breakfast to go just so we could sit in one of those parks and enjoy the fresh air plus people watch.

USS Yorktown

J and I are both history nerds, so we had to go on a historical walking tour of Charleston, which I highly recommend. It provides context for why the city is the way it is today. We're also tech nerds, so we visited the USS Yorktown, an aircraft carrier built during World War II. It was extremely interesting! I have toured smaller ships and a submarine before, but the sheer size of the USS Yorktown was unbelievable (hard to tell from this picture but look at the jets on it for scale). It's bigger than many buildings!

Spanish moss

As a nature lover, I really enjoyed all the local flora and fauna. Walking around the city, you'll find beautiful spanish moss casually draped over live oak trees. Down by the water, you'll find a ton of birds (egrets, herons, pelicans to name just a few)! When we visited Magnolia Plantations, we also saw some alligators and turtles.

Jacket: Mackage (old, similar, similar)
Cardigan: J.Crew (old)
Tank: Everlane (old, similar)
 Jeans: Hudson (old, same cut)
Shoes: Vans (exact)
Bag: Rebecca Minkoff (exact)

The weather was a bit cool when we first arrived in Charleston, but it got to be mid 80s by the time we left. Here I am wearing my leather jacket on the first day of our trip when it was kind of chilly. By the last day, I was just walking around in a t-shirt.

Lewis Barbecue

I consider myself a foodie, and even by my standards, the food scene in Charleston was amazing! Be warned: the hottest restaurants get so busy that you need to make reservations several weeks in advance. Unfortunately we didn't find out about that until a few days before our trip, so we could only get into my second choice places. Oh well. That just means we'll have to go back another time. Above is the food we got at Lewis Barbecue. I had the most tender and delicious brisket I have ever had in my life! It literally melts in your mouth. The house-made pickles and sauces were good too.

Anyway, these were some of the highlights from our trip. I hope you enjoyed following along. All in all, we had a great time in Charleston, and it was a much needed break for both of us. Hopefully we'll be back in the future!

Have you ever been to Charleston? If so, what were your favorite spots?

Long Time No See

Dear readers,

Long time no see. I'm not sure if anyone is still following this blog, but I apologize for vanishing off the face of the earth without even saying goodbye. Life got really stressful around Fall 2016, and I just couldn't find the energy to keep writing blog posts about shopping when more important things were going on in my personal life.

A few updates: I am still in grad school (currently working on my dissertation and looking for jobs on the West Coast), but I am no longer with my former fiancé Engineer W. We decided to go our separate ways after many months of agonizing over what was ultimately a deal-breaker for us: I wanted to have children someday, and he didn't. It was an extremely painful situation since we loved each other, but there was also no compromising on the matter. The issue hadn't been so important when we were younger and had first started dating, but the older we got, the more resolute we each became on what was important to us. We ended things amicably since it wasn't anyone's fault, and we are still friends today. I decided to give him custody of our (now his) beloved tuxedo cat, which was the right thing to do but also broke my heart.

I have a new boyfriend J, who I have been dating seriously for close to a year, and now we live together in a tiny studio apartment. Because we have to share a closet, I had to purge the vast majority of my clothes, bags, shoes, and accessories before I moved in with him. I also can't buy too many things these days, because there'd be nowhere to put them. I kind of like the new forced minimalism since I can't accumulate too much stuff, and it's much easier to keep everything organized. I still feel the itch to shop though, especially when I am bored or under a lot of stress, but I usually end up returning most of it.

I am also in the best physical shape of my life. I started working out regularly (finally achieved my 2015 new year's resolutions, ha!) and picked up some new hobbies that I love: rock climbing, cycling, hiking, skiing, etc. These days you'll frequently find me doing something active outdoors if the weather is nice enough. Since I still like to shop, I've picked up a good deal of hobby-related gear, so probably my overall spending level isn't really any lower.

Anyway, I just wanted to drop in and say hi. I hope to start posting regularly again, but it may not be as shopping-oriented as it was before. I don't really have a roadmap at the moment. Let's just see where it goes.

Love,

Engineer L

Happy 1st Birthday, Catniss!

Catniss turns one* today!
* Based on the birthday that the shelter staff gave us, which probably isn't the most accurate, but we're going with it anyway.

In honor of the occasion, I thought I would dedicate today's post to talking all about her. The last time I did that was not long after her adoption. Four months later, it's funny for me to go back and re-read my original post. Some things have stayed exactly the same, but others are totally different.

The biggest change about her in the last 4 months is that she's all grown up now! She was only 7 lbs when we first got her and looked considerably smaller than the average-sized cat. Lately I noticed that she was looking bigger, and at her recent vet visit, she weighed in at 9.3 lbs, which is pretty average (most domestic cats are between 8-10 lbs). Most likely she has hit her full adult weight, and now we just need to work on maintaining it through portion control.

One thing that has stayed constant: her love of food. She is the opposite of picky and will pretty much eat anything I offer her. That's really convenient and probably one of the most helpful things when I was experimenting with different foods for her. I've never seen her reject anything or even walk away from her bowl if there's still food inside. She does eat very quickly but doesn't throw it back up like some other cats (probably the food is too precious to let it leave her body). Her favorite treats are these Kitty Yums. She goes crazy over them!

EVO cat & kitten wet food mixed with water to get even more moisture into her diet.

Her current favorite toys (she loves novelty) include peacock tail feathers, the cat dancer, boxes, and most strangely of all, a rolled up pair of socks. We discovered that last one entirely by accident when Engineer W left a pair of his socks lying around. When we came back, she was fighting it. She likes to do this thing where she grab it, then scratches and claws at it furiously. Sometimes she even walks over to it, plops down like a chicken hatching an egg, and then proceeds to roll around and "kill" the socks! It's really funny and cute.

Rock 'em sock 'em

Every cat owner probably thinks this about their cat, but Catniss really is awesome. She's so sweet and affectionate. She could just sit in my lap or on my chest for hours. She likes to follow me everywhere, even to the bathroom! She loves being petted, is generally obedient, doesn't scratch furniture, and never tries to run out the door. She's quite calm most of the time, even around strangers. I didn't know what to expect when we first adopted her, but she's exceeded my expectations.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed learning more about Catniss, and I hope she enjoys her birthday of petting, playing, eating, grooming, and napping!

Life Lately

Sorry about being MIA around the blog for most of April. It's just been one thing after another here for the last couple weeks. Two weekends ago, Engineer W and I went to Florida to attend a family wedding. I was just a guest, but he was a groomsmen, so there were lots of events to attend and general running around. The wedding itself went off without a hitch with only a few minor hitches, and it was good to see family members that we otherwise don't see very often.

The ceremony was held outdoors at a serene little park. Unfortunately, it drizzled the whole time, so all of the guests and the wedding party got rained on. Of course, it could have been much worse. Originally the weather forecast predicted thunderstorms, and the chairs were arranged under a cluster of tall trees! Luckily no T-storms arrived, but it was still no fun to sit through 30 minutes of spritzing. The moment they were pronounced man and wife, everyone rushed to get under the nearby tent where the reception was set up.

Here's a picture of what we wore to the wedding. There wasn't really a specified dress code, so I went with casual garden attire. It was the perfect opportunity to wear this raw silk floral Ann Taylor dress that I thrifted from Goodwill a few years ago for $5. It was a little baggy, so I took it to the tailor the week before the wedding and had them reinsert the back zipper for $25. I also wore my "special occasion" metallic Vivs, which got a lot of compliments. The groomsmen were allowed to wear their own suits (as long as they were navy or grey), but the couple got them all matching french cuff shirts and bowties.

Please excuse my hair. The humidity took its toll.

A few days after we got back from the wedding, I came down with a nasty cold. In fact, it was probably one of the worst colds I've had in the last five years. My throat really hurt, I had a horrible wracking cough, and there was even a low-grade fever. It basically took me out of commission until last Wednesday when I finally started to feel better. Since I was out sick for so long, now I've fallen quite behind on research and need to play catch up.

In the midst of my terrible cold was the Lilly Pulitzer for Target launch. In retrospect, I shouldn't have stayed up for the online launch since I was already sick (I had a relapse the next day), but I had been looking forward to the collection for months, and I didn't want to let a cold get in my way. I was able to score much of my wishlist before the website crashed, but the shift dresses were mostly sold out by then. I was bummed about that but was too sick to brave the 8:00am crowds myself the next day, so Engineer W offered to go instead. Sadly, his luck wasn't much better. A huge mob of women descended on the dresses and left only empty racks in their wake.

This was the only thing he snagged in-store. I was just happy that he managed to get anything.

Anyway, so that's what I've been up to this month. How was your April (and your Lilly for Target experience)?

Cats and Dogs

For as long as I can remember, I've always been a dog person. I don't know how it started, especially since I never had one growing up. Every year I would beg and beg my parents, but my dad always said that he was too allergic (I secretly think he just hates animals). On the other hand, I was deathly afraid of cats. All of my childhood experiences with them were traumatizing. I got scratched by one across the hand when I was 4, and my grandmother had this evil mean-tempered black cat that everyone hated except her. I finally started coming around to cats in the last five years after I met some extremely friendly kitties at other people's houses. Before that, I thought they were just a myth!

My fiancé Engineer W had a different experience growing up. He had a (prickly) tabby named Annie who lived to the ripe old age of 17 that he loved. He also comes from a long line of cat people. His grandparents always had 3-4 cats around the house when his mom was growing up, and all of their kids ended up being cat lovers too. Most of them (including his mom) still have one or two cats today, so clearly the trend is going strong.

Annie hunting her shadow

Anyway, we first started talking about adopting a pet a few months ago. Even though I love dogs, we quickly ruled out that idea when we considered how much time we would need to devote to walking it daily and the hassles some of our grad school friends have gone through in the course of housebreaking/training their puppies. After doing some more research, we thought, why not a cat? They're sociable yet independent, housebroken, and fine with being left alone for the day while we're at school. Sounded like the perfect match.

On Valentine's Day, we went to a local shelter to look at their kitties. It was supposed to be a simple meet and greet, so we weren't expecting to bring one home that day. Of course life throws you a curve ball when you least expect it. When we got there, we met over 30 cats, but two really stuck out in our minds. One was a male tabby that loved to snuggle up on laps but had a tendency to escape his enclosure. Because we live in an apartment complex, we ultimately decided that he wasn't a good match for us. The other was a particularly friendly tuxedo kitten that we later named Catniss. She was so small compared to the other cats in her room that we knew she had to be younger than a year (our initial age limit), but we just couldn't bear to leave her behind. So with our house largely unprepared, we adopted her and took her home. In retrospect, that was probably a bad idea. Instead of relaxing and getting to know her, we spent the rest of the weekend running around, getting cat supplies and scrambling to cat-proof the house.

I'm not going to lie; the first week with her was really rough. Not just for her, but also for the humans involved. In fact, the initial experience was so bad that we considered taking her back to the shelter. One issue was how she would mew piteously any time we left the room, even if it was only for a few minutes. Needless to say, it was hard to get any sleep all week. Another issue was how long her claws were. She has a habit of kneading with her claws out, so every single time she sat on me, I would get these long scratches across my legs. Plus they ended up getting infected (apparently cat-scratch disease is a thing, you guys), so now I have to take antibiotics to clear it up. She's gotten a lot better about kneading with her claws since, but she still cries a few times a night while we're trying to sleep.

Don't get me wrong though. She has a lot of great qualities too. For example, she's extremely sweet. She loves nothing better than sitting on a warm lap and being petted. And she's totally okay with having her paws touched. It was really easy to clip her nails within two days of getting her, and we did it again this weekend. She also had her first vet appointment recently, and that went better than expected. She only protested being in her carrier a little, and she was a complete angel at the vet, even when they had to take her temperature and express her anal glands. The vet complimented her on how calm she was. Overall, she's a great cat despite being naughty sometimes.

Catniss's favorite pastime

Even though we've only had her for a short period of time, we already know a lot about her. Her favorite things include playing with her mouse wand (highly recommend for anyone with a playful cat!), chewing on really thin wires (she already bit through the cord for a pair of ear buds), sleeping on a warm lap, being petted, and FOOOOD (dry, wet, pretty much anything except strawberries). Her dislikes include being sprayed with water when she jumps up on the kitchen counter and when we close our bedroom door to go to sleep.

Looking fierce after catching the "mouse"

Since we got her, she's done some pretty hilarious things that I wish I had filmed. For example, we have a trash can with a swing top lid that sits next to the kitchen counter. One day she wanted to jump on the counter, and she thought she could get there via the trash can. So she jumped up... and then promptly fell in, completely freaked out, and bounced around inside until the trash can toppled, finally releasing her. Luckily there were only a few dry things inside, so she wasn't hurt. Another funny thing was when I tried offering her a strawberry slice. First I googled around to make sure it wasn't toxic for cats, and then I placed it in front of her nose. She was interested and sniffed it a few times but thought it was a toy, so she started batting it around with her paw. To let her know it was food, I led her to her food bowl and put it inside. She finally understood and licked it. Then she looked up at me, pulled it out of her food bowl (bleh that's not food), and stalked off in disgust!

So I wanted to end with a toast to Catniss. You may be naughty at times, but you're sweet, snuggly, and hilarious. May we have many long years together!

Hanging out with me on the couch

Are you a cat person, dog person, both, or neither? Also, do you have any tips for training a cat to not wake you up at night? Please let me know in the comments section below. Thanks!