Crazy Rich Asians: The Movie

I love Kevin Kwan's bestselling novel Crazy Rich Asians, so I was super excited when I heard it was getting made into a movie. I was even more excited when I was lucky enough to score a ticket to an advance screening in my city. You guys, it does not disappoint! If anything, I would say that the movie is even better than the book, which very rarely happens.

If you're not familiar with the story, here is a brief plot summary (no spoilers). Rachel Chu, a Chinese-American economics professor from NYU, finds out that her Chinese-Singaporean boyfriend Nick Young is not just a humble history professor. He is actually the Nicholas Young, heir to a massive fortune and the most eligible bachelor in all of Asia. They take a trip together to Singapore to visit his family and to attend the hottest event of the year: the wedding of Nick's best friend Colin Khoo and fashion icon Araminta Lee, both from extremely wealthy families. Right away, Rachel is made to feel like an outcast by the Singaporean elite, because she was raised by a single mother and is more American than Chinese. Also, unlike everyone else from Nick's world, she wasn't born with a silver spoon in her mouth. In particular, Nick's mother Eleanor Young disapproves of Rachel and warns her to stay away from her son. Hijinks ensue as Rachel tries to navigate her way through Nick's world.

Like the book, the movie is super fun. There are lavish parties, exquisite couture costumes, dazzling jewelry, and amazing scenery. The characters are so wacky and over-the-top, like Rachel's best friend Peik Lin (tasteless new money), Nick's cousin Eddie Cheng (obsessed with having the perfect image), and trashy gold-digging soap opera star Kitty Pong. The casting choice really brought the characters to life in my opinion. I like Constance Wu (Fresh off the Boat) as Rachel. She was fresh, plucky, and sassy. I also love Michelle Yeoh (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Tomorrow Never Dies) as Eleanor Young. She was so proud and elegant, a true tiger mom. I feel like she really nailed the nuances of the character. But my favorite ended up being Awkwafina (Ocean's Eight) as Peik Lin. I didn't particularly like the character in the book, but Awkwafina stole every scene she was in. She had perfect comedic timing, and it was hilarious to watch her deliver her killer one-liners.

I really enjoyed the movie, and I highly recommend that everyone go see it. I'm already planning to go again with my boyfriend when it comes out in theaters. The movie was very funny and even touching at times. Even though the story is set in Asia and revolves around Asians, its themes are universal: dealing with your significant other's family, feeling like you don't belong, complicated family dynamics, etc. Also, this is the first time in a long time that Hollywood has made a movie with an all-Asian cast. In general, directors are reluctant to cast minority actors in lead roles, because they believe that people of color don't have mass appeal at the box office. We as moviegoers need to show up and send the message that we want to see more diverse casting in American media. But hey, even if you're not political, it's just a great movie!

If you want to learn more about Crazy Rich Asians, check out this article from the Hollywood Reporter. And go watch it when it comes out on August 15!

Have you read Crazy Rich Asians? Are you planning to go see the movie?

My Nordstrom Anniversary Sale Picks + Book Recommendations

July has been a crazy month for sales. First, there were summer clearance sales and Amazon Prime Day. Now the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale has opened up to the public. I am mostly sitting this one out, because I already overspent this month.  However, I still want to highlight a few gems that I think are actually a good value for those of you who are shopping. (Keep in mind that some items may be made specifically for the sale. For more info, check out Xin's post. As far as I can tell, my recommendations seem to be retail items.) My sale picks include these classic stud earrings (I bought mine a few years ago and wear them constantly), these high-waisted leggings (I own 3 pairs of the regular ones), these pretty bow flats (I tried them on in person and found them to run at least half a size large), and these waterproof heels. Personally I bought a lipstick and eyeliner set, which contains one of my favorite eyeliners and a bonus lipstick for the same price as it would normally cost to just buy the eyeliner. I also reordered one of my favorite workout tank tops in white. I wear my red one all the time, and it'd be nice to rotate them.

If you're all shopped out, I have a few book recommendations. When the weather gets too hot, I feel lazy, so I've been spending a lot of time indoors reading my Kindle. The books I enjoyed most recently are:

• The Outsider by Stephen King - I'm a huge Stephen King fan, even though I don't normally like horror as a genre. He's the master of suspense, and this was no exception. I found the first half of the book to be very thought-provoking with its social commentary on our criminal justice system as well as trials in the court of public opinion, similar to during the #metoo movement. The second half is standard Stephen King sci-fi/horror with more sci-fi than horror. Definitely worth a read.
• Ready Player One - I really enjoyed this young adult sci-fi/fantasy! Apparently it got made into a movie recently, which I didn't realize until after I finished the book. Anyway, the characters are a little flat, but the plot is very entertaining and fast-paced enough to make this a quick read. As a nerd, I enjoyed all the references to classic sci-fi/fantasy media as well as 80's pop culture. I guess I'm getting old enough that some of the things I liked as a kid are now retro!
• Crazy Rich Asians - I actually read this book a while ago but have to mention it here, because the movie is coming out on August 15. I'm already planning to go see it in theaters, because it's really one of the first Hollywood movies with a predominantly Asian cast. Anyway, the book is super fun and lighthearted with lots of glamour, fashion, and drama. Definitely a guilty pleasure summer read.

Are you shopping the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale? Have you read any of these books? Have a great weekend!

Linked List: Free Soloing, The Secret to Love, K-Beauty, Periods, Poetry, and Candy

Original image source

1. The Risky Appeal of Free Climbing (The Atlantic). The title of this article is incorrect: they are referring to the practice of free soloing (climbing long routes without the use of protective equipment such as ropes and harnesses), as opposed to free climbing (climbing without outside assistance). Even among world-class climbers who have climbed extremely difficult and sometimes terrifying terrain, Alex Honnold is considered crazy for his pursuit of free soloing. Free soloing is extremely dangerous, because there is no room for error; you could fall to your death from a single mistake since you're not wearing a harness connected to a safety rope, as you typically would for climbing long routes outdoors (see this post for an example). Whenever I watch one of his ascents (check out this video and let me know what your reaction is!), my palms begin to sweat, my heart starts racing, and I catch myself holding my breath. While I think the practice is way too risky and I hope no one at home is ever inspired to try it, there is something majestic about watching him conquer these impossible rock faces.

2. The Secret to Love is Just Kindness (The Atlantic). "If you want to have a stable, healthy relationship, exercise kindness early and often." J and I read this article together, and we talked afterwards about how we can improve our relationship, using what we learned from it. Sometimes when one person is busy or stressed or tired, it can be hard to engage in each "bid" your partner makes. After a while, little misunderstandings and hurts build up, and they can lead to big problems in the long run. However, being generous about your partner's intentions, responding with active constructive feedback, and sharing each other's joys can bring couples closer together.

3. K-Beauty: The Ugly Face of South Korea's Obsession with Women Looking Forever Flawless (South China Morning Post). I found this article on the dark side of K-beauty interesting. South Korea definitely has a very uniform beauty standard. For example, a lot of Korean actresses look similar, possibly because they underwent the same plastic surgery treatments (double eyelid surgery, nose job, jaw sculpting, etc.). Also, Korean women do tend to wear more makeup than American women in general. On the one hand, I like Korean makeup trends, which I think look very flattering especially on Asian women, and their skincare is amazing. On the other hand, it's sad when women feel like they have to be beautiful, because that's their only value to society rather than for who they are or what they do.

4. Women Don't Need to Have Periods (The Atlantic). Periodically (see what I did there?) I think about how convenient it would be to not have a period and how lucky men are that they don't have to deal with monthly bloating, cramps, and blood. In the past I've done some research on birth control methods that help you get rid of your period, but I could never bite the bullet on it. I suppose on some level I feel weird about not having one, even though we have the power now thanks to modern medicine. Maybe I've just been brainwashed by society to feel like it's "natural" and "necessary." If anyone has ever tried to get rid of their period and want to share the experience, I'd love to hear from you!

5. Poetry from My Gchat Archive (The New Yorker). These "poems" are hilarious, and I actually laughed out loud while reading them.

6. How to Eat Candy Like a Swedish Person (The New Yorker). This piece was so fun and frivolous compared to the troubling political news I normally read, and it brought me joy. I'm a candy lover myself (no licorice though), much to the chagrin of my dentist. Be warned: the delectable descriptions of the candy made me want to indulge my sweet tooth on the spot.

What was your reaction to Alex Honnold's free soloing video? Did you learn anything useful from the secret to love article? And have you ever tried to get rid of your period?

Good Reads

This week I am lusting after this watercolor midi skirt (J would approve as a sailor), this linen-blend button front cami (it has a slight boho feel without being over-the-top), and this gorgeous dress in a vibrant floral print (also available as tie-waist shorts).

-----

This past month I've been reading a bunch of articles and books (maybe because I do so much left-brain work for my dissertation that I want to balance it out with right-brain activities), and I wanted to share the links to the ones I found most interesting as well as my thoughts on them.

Articles
1. Many People Taking Antidepressants Discover They Cannot Quit (New York Times). A lot of grad students struggle with depression and anxiety, myself included, so this article really got my attention. While antidepressants can be lifesavers for many people, they tend to have negative side-effects, it can take a long time to figure out what works for you, and if you decide to quit, you have to step down the dosage slowly under the supervision of your doctor. It makes me wonder if antidepressants should be prescribed as freely as they are, when counseling and/or lifestyle changes might be a better first course of action. Of course, this really depends on the exact person, situation, and the severity of their issues, but I don't think antidepressants are the right answer for everyone.

2. 'It's Just a Dress': Teen's Chinese Prom Attire Stirs Cultural Appropriation Debate (Washington Post). As a Chinese-American, I'm pretty conflicted about this. On the one hand, it is just a dress, and I'm sure she meant no harm by wearing it. On the other hand, I always feel uncomfortable when I see non-Chinese people wearing cheongsams/qipaos. It seems costume-y and smacks a bit of yellowface. In particular, I dislike the group photo where the teens posed with their hands pressed together, which seems mocking and disrespectful. I feel the same way about Halloween costumes that involve kimonos, Native American dress, sombreros, etc. Interestingly enough, the controversial dress received a different reaction from people in China, although I would argue that they don't have a history of the same kind of cultural appropriation so they don't understand the context.


Books
1. Belgravia by Julian Fellowes. Do you like Downton Abbey and/or historical fiction? If so, then you might like this book from the creator of Downton Abbey. I was a big fan of the show back when it was still running, with its British accents and the melodramatic lives of the "upstairs" family and the "downstairs" staff. I actually listened to Belgravia in audiobook form, and I was hooked right away. I really enjoyed Juliet Stevenson's reading of it (she's a British stage actress), because she created unique voices for the different characters. Anyway, the story begins at a ball on the eve of the Battle of Waterloo in 1815. The events of the ball set into motion the rest of the story, which is mostly set during the 1840s. It covers the complex relationships between various members of the noble but arrogant Bellasis family and the self-made upstart Trenchard family, whose fates become intertwined due to the actions of their star-crossed children. Like Downton Abbey, you get to know members of the two families as well as the servants who wait on them. The story is engaging with its tales of aristocrats, social climbers, and scheming servants, so I recommend you give it a try.

2. Are You There God? It's Me Margaret by Judy Blume. I loved this book when I was a preteen, and I wanted to reread it for old time's sake. I think it really captures the self-consciousness and vulnerability you feel at that age when your body is starting to go through puberty, and everything is all emotional and confusing. Even reading it as an adult now, I still cringe at the memory of what it was like to be a teenager, and I feel sympathetic towards the problems of the main character Margaret. I think the book would make a nice gift for any preteen or young teenage girl.

3. When Did I Stop Being Twenty and Other Injustices by Judith Viorst. I love to read poetry periodically, and Judith Viorst has been one of my favorite poets ever since I first read this poem by her in high school. I don't know why I hadn't thought to buy a book of her poetry earlier, but I'm glad I did! She brings her characteristic wit, humor, and insight to observations about everyday life, including relationships, marriage, and aging. Her poetry makes me feel nostalgic for simpler times.


What do you think of the articles? Were you a fan of Downton Abbey too? What books have you been reading lately?

The Language(s) of Love

Valentine's Day is right around the corner, so today I wanted to step out of my box to talk about a more serious topic: looove. A little background first. For the past few semesters, I've been attending a support group on campus for graduate students. Once a week we get together to discuss all sorts of life issues, including research stress, relationship stress, family stress, you name it. Anyway, last time I brought up a small argument that Engineer W and I had recently. After hearing my story, one of the group members suggested trying to understand his perspective by learning his language of love. If you have no idea what she was talking about (like I didn't), she was referring to a popular book written by Gary Chapman for people in relationships. According to Chapman, the five languages of love are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. I haven't read the book, but the basic idea seems to be that you can strengthen your emotional connection with your partner if you can express your love for them using their love language instead of your own. There's even a quiz on his website to help you figure out your own love language(s). Most people need a mixture of all five, but the importance of each language is different from person to person.

Source

My love languages (in descending priority) are quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, and physical touch with words of affirmation being a distant fifth. Engineer W's languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and quality time with receiving gifts in last place. As you can see, our top languages don't overlap much. Because we're most likely to express our love in the languages that we would like to receive from others, that can lead to occasional misunderstandings and feeling under-appreciated at times. For example, Engineer W always thanks me for doing chores around the house, and I couldn't understand why. By comparison, I never used to thank him since I didn't value words of affirmation myself. Now I try to pay more attention to these differences so that he always feels loved and appreciated.

When I think about it, the concept of different love languages is pretty intuitive and really extends beyond just couples. It's applicable to anyone you love, like family and friends. Using this framework has changed the way I understand my parents, especially my mom. Whenever I go to visit her, she always tries to give me gifts to bring back with me, and I usually make excuses about not having enough space in my bag. Now I realize that she's trying to show me how much she loves me, and I should just take those gifts to avoid hurting her feelings.

So this Valentine's Day, when you think about what to get the person/people you love, think about how they show their love for you, and show your own love for them using that same language.